Guy's Rules, like it or not.

[Scorptrio]

There hasn't been a good gender war in The Dumpster for awhile…

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The Guys' Rules: At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Ryuu_Draven]

Maybe I'm too much of a tomboy or just a guy at heart (hmm..hope not) but I agree with a few of these, not all...but enough. Some girls are just too whiney and need to learn that sports WILL take priority...at least to me, they will...especially football and hockey, over most anything.

[paintedbird]

those aren't so bad. It could've been worse

[Mercurygriffin]

In my case all are right on the money but you have to change the sports to politics, movies, music, and anything that blinks.

[white_darkness]

I don't watch TV. I normally want the female to turn the *^(&%^*(&^ TV off.

[SilentScreams]

I don't watch TV. I normally want the female to turn the *^(&%^*(&^ TV off.

You my dear are a special case... you little girly man you *MWAH!*

I don't watch TV either... and I am hard pressed to find a man that will actually date me because they usually just want to be my friend and hang out cuz I do so much guy shit

[Ryuu_Draven]

I don't watch TV. I normally want the female to turn the *^(&%^*(&^ TV off.

You my dear are a special case... you little girly man you *MWAH!*

I don't watch TV either... and I am hard pressed to find a man that will actually date me because they usually just want to be my friend and hang out cuz I do so much guy shit

Lol I hear ya there...same problem I've always had in the past. Maybe it means that the guys we find are too girly.

[LordHades]

Ok.. I support this 100%. I don't agree with everything, particulary where sports and monster trucks are involved, but that's just flavoring. For the most part, it's all quite sensible, practical, and is applied to my everyday life.. every day.

Mind you, I live in a house with 2 other guys, so I've got to assume some of you poor fellows out there don't have the luxury of being yourselves, even in your own home. My heart goes out to you guys. So for you, I'm gonna go take a wizz with the door open. Leave the seat up. And I might even miss.

No promises on that last part though.. Bad part about having your own bathroom.. it's up to you to clean it. Bleh.

[iblis]

The only sport I give a crap about is midget-tossing.

But for the most part, this list is practical. Practical == Good.

And who needs to ask for directions if one has a wireless connnection and google? We might be guys, but we're not all cavemen.

TV's are good for movies and video games. Both of these can be accomplished with a computer and a video card with a TV-out port.

Baseball? Shotgun formation? Monster trucks? Only if it's on a Playstation.

[karmakaze]

The only sport I give a crap about is midget-tossing.

what about bobbing for cock?

[iblis]

The only sport I give a crap about is midget-tossing.

what about bobbing for cock?

Only when I'm in the mood for chicken.

But I prefer sheep.

[tat2jay]

I don't watch TV. I normally want the female to turn the *^(&%^*(&^ TV off.

You my dear are a special case... you little girly man you *MWAH!*

I don't watch TV either... and I am hard pressed to find a man that will actually date me because they usually just want to be my friend and hang out cuz I do so much guy shit

Lol I hear ya there...same problem I've always had in the past. Maybe it means that the guys we find are too girly.

maybe you two need a mahnly mahn - YAAAH!



not that i am implying that i am one or anything, but ill keep my eyes open for you

[Ray+Wendy]

This was Wendy and I's reply when this was posted in Nashville Gothic:

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Hockey is the only sport, it is not just on sunday and Wendy puts it on all TVs.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

The doctor will tell the man it is a lack of good technique.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

That is if you can remember it for more than an hour in the first place. Forgotten events are inadmissable.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

Wendy? Fat?

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Tape it. Fast forward through the commercials and pause it for discussion.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

There are no streets in the Atlantic Ocean and just one direction to go.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

We see in a multitude of colors, we just don't have names for them all

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Interrogation by tickle and giggle can be fun though.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

You say this on a Goth board?

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

You forgot Star Trek/Doctor Who/Monty Python/Invader Zim...

1. You have enough clothes.

The only person I've seen this apply to was Kami, because she had such nifty stuff still packed from when she moved from Texas. (I helped her move to Franklin) New clothes can be fun!

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Sleep on the couch? Not alone, Wendy is always there sleeping with me! Camping=Sleeping bag for 2

[4X541N7]

Yes, I need to find a Grrl that fits this. But they don't exist. They may agree...but they don't practice. Greg...will you be my Grrlfriend?

[sinful_fetish]

I love these rules. But I agree they are not just guy rules at all. Hockey - should be on 24 hours a day, on all channels, everyday.


*andrea*

[The Stormstress]

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

My hunny h8z most sportz (I can handl 'em more than he can)

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

He'z the shopper!

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Tru enuff ... guyz rn't alwayz that perceptiv

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

More often my request.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Tru on prob-solving ... add 2 girlfriend dutiez: sex, adoration, & lotz mor sex (not that I mind )

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

We r both willing 2 "play thru the pain" once frustration setz n

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

I'd LMMFAO if he acted that like a soap opera guy & I dress hotter than Victoria'z Secret girlz!

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

I'm a triple Cancer, so he'd better mean the other 1!

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

No chance ... he makez me spill it.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

So he sayz ....

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Try technical nfo, sex, or carz...

The rest r no big issuez 4 us either.

[Ray+Wendy]

I love these rules. But I agree they are not just guy rules at all. Hockey - should be on 24 hours a day, on all channels, everyday.


*andrea*

fucking lockout....

(Sorry OT)

[Vachy]

Yes, I need to find a Grrl that fits this. But they don't exist. They may agree...but they don't practice. Greg...will you be my Grrlfriend?

Yah, they exsist. And I think I was supposed to be a man. I still have some girlish tendencies, but I think overall women are much too whiney/bitchy and expect too much out of men.


Commentary: (Don't wanna quote eveything though)

toilet seat- when I go to my boyfriend's house, I usually put it back up when I'm done. After all, it's his toilet seat, and why is my preference more important than his?

Sports- we both hate them, so not an issue

shopping- we both shop for things that annoy the other. We deal. It balances.

crying- everyone should be able to cry.

Hints- nah, we just buy what we want ourselves, and buy each other random presents.

Yes and No- I still feel the need to explain myself, but he also expects me to.

Problems and sympathy- we both complain and hear each other out.

headaches- cannot keep me from sex! Actually, sex makes them go away.

arguement- we argue over stupid things, never real issues. Things like the difference between the north pole and magnetic north, and who sang the original "tainted love."

I don't like the victoria secret girls or soap opera guys.

fatness- we're both about the same amount of fat/lack thereof, and both like the way the other looks.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. - This one gets me. It's that girliness taking over.

Getting stuff done- I'll do it myself, whenever I can. If not, I appreciate it. Mostly.

Talking during TV- I'm usually watching too, otherwise I try to be polite. But sometimes I pout.

Directions- Have never gotten lost with him, but I look forward to. Getting lost is an adventure!

16 color sight- I somehow manage to be an artist, yet unable to dress myself to my mother's standards. What is the difference between brown and taupe? I have no idea.

Scratching- I scratch too.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. - Another girly thing. "Nothing" usually means I don't want to talk about it, but I need a hug.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. -I expect the answer, but I usually asked the question just to bring it up and discuss it. Sneaky.

Dressing to go out.- We both wear pretty much the same thing wherever we go.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. - Make that video games, and yah, I've learned that.

You have enough clothes. - I have too many clothes, and need a yard sale.

Shoes- I hate shoes. I either wear boots, house shoes, or dress sandals.

I am in shape. Round is a shape. - Actually I'm a pear. Most of the time I could care less, as long as my clothes are fitting right.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. - I enjoyed this, and I wouldn't make someone sleep on the couch. If I don't want to sleep with them, it's my problem, so why shouldn't *I* sleep on the couch?


So yah, that's me. Mostly man-friendly, but a lot of that is attributed to a girl-friendly man. But really, feminists and bitchy chicks should just be hit with fry pans.

[bloodymerry]

So yah, that's me. Mostly man-friendly, but a lot of that is attributed to a girl-friendly man. But really, feminists and bitchy chicks should just be hit with fry pans.

from http://www.webster.com:
Main Entry: fem·i·nism
Pronunciation: 'fe-m&-"ni-z&m
Function: noun
1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests
- fem·i·nist /-nist/ noun or adjective
- fem·i·nis·tic /"fe-m&-'nis-tik/ adjective

it's actually a widespread public misconception that feminists are man-haters. true feminists believe in equality between the sexes, and someone who believes that women or men are inferior to the opposite gender is not feminist at all but sexist.

i am a radical feminist, and proud of it.

[Scorptrio]

Disclaimer: a statement made to save one's ass

In case I didn't make it clear, this list was forwarded to me. I didn't write it. I'm still the only guy who voted it "bunk." And I had no idea we had so many transgendered individuals here on KG. Welcome!