Self medicating is an attempt to accept reality.
People always jump to say everything will be alright.
Mothers always tell their children it will be okay, it will get better.
It's the stale period of time when you do the only thing you know to keep yourself from breaking.
There is always a brief pause for thinking taken before someone jumps. Pulls. Cuts. Swallows. Inhales.
It's the link between hatred and hope.
Sometimes you don't want to know what's going to happen and stall as long as you can.
It's begging for more time in case that one hopeful event will save you.
Like the phone call answered or the letter in the post.
You can close your eyes and hear your heartbeat and fall a little further.
It's covering your eyes in a bright room.
It's stepping away from the mess and preserving the moment. The hours.
Self medicating is the only way, if there is one, that someone can gather their bearings and change.
There are no words or gestures that can display this in its entirety.
"Self Destruction Makes Me Function..."
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"Self Destruction Makes Me Function..."
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