Underworld 2
Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:35 pm
Underworld: Evolution
Trust Hollywood to prove the theory of evolution in the worst way possible. Yes.. It's true, but is there any worth in watching pure crap evolve?
Here we have the sequel to Underworld and iffy movie at best. So first off let's pretty much drop the whole storyline of the previous movie and do something completely different... Yeah! Let's do a love?lust?fuck? story (for all of 6 mins screen time) of two supernatural creatures that are hated enemies and their quest to fulfill the typical hollyweird plot 16b(the rest of this waste of celluloid)
So we have our tragic heroine (in a leather catsuit) who kicks ass! Yay! Who the fuck wanted to see acting anyways. Of course kick ass chicks seems to be the order of the day for Hollywood, but then they have to ruin it by putting in touching, emotionally tender scenes with even crappier acting and not even a good tit shot(thats what you get for marrying the director, toots) . NEEEXXXT!
On the other hand, we have Bucky the Newbie-Hybrid Blunder (ok so he looks more like a blue Creature of The Black Lagoon then some werewolf/vampire thing) who pretty much looks clueless and gets his ass kicked throughout the whole movie, but hey he gets to be Beckinsale's little puppy.
Oh did we mention the Blue Blunder was a deus ex machina... but that seems unfair to lil ole Kate so guess what, here comes great granddaddy to make her into a deus ex machina vamp style, while he dies in an extremely tacky and retarded way.
Oh and let's drop the modern lycans out of the picture entirely... and kill off the sub-nemesis in another tacky and retarded 2 minute scene.
Now I can go on and do the whole spoiler thing but no, I want you to suffer like I was made to suffer. Go forth my minions, and waste a good hour and a half of your life. Thank the goddess this was shorter then usual.
Underworld 2 after-party line starts at the bathroom door, if ya want to start early, bring a bucket.
Trust Hollywood to prove the theory of evolution in the worst way possible. Yes.. It's true, but is there any worth in watching pure crap evolve?
Here we have the sequel to Underworld and iffy movie at best. So first off let's pretty much drop the whole storyline of the previous movie and do something completely different... Yeah! Let's do a love?lust?fuck? story (for all of 6 mins screen time) of two supernatural creatures that are hated enemies and their quest to fulfill the typical hollyweird plot 16b(the rest of this waste of celluloid)
So we have our tragic heroine (in a leather catsuit) who kicks ass! Yay! Who the fuck wanted to see acting anyways. Of course kick ass chicks seems to be the order of the day for Hollywood, but then they have to ruin it by putting in touching, emotionally tender scenes with even crappier acting and not even a good tit shot(thats what you get for marrying the director, toots) . NEEEXXXT!
On the other hand, we have Bucky the Newbie-Hybrid Blunder (ok so he looks more like a blue Creature of The Black Lagoon then some werewolf/vampire thing) who pretty much looks clueless and gets his ass kicked throughout the whole movie, but hey he gets to be Beckinsale's little puppy.
Oh did we mention the Blue Blunder was a deus ex machina... but that seems unfair to lil ole Kate so guess what, here comes great granddaddy to make her into a deus ex machina vamp style, while he dies in an extremely tacky and retarded way.
Oh and let's drop the modern lycans out of the picture entirely... and kill off the sub-nemesis in another tacky and retarded 2 minute scene.
Now I can go on and do the whole spoiler thing but no, I want you to suffer like I was made to suffer. Go forth my minions, and waste a good hour and a half of your life. Thank the goddess this was shorter then usual.
Underworld 2 after-party line starts at the bathroom door, if ya want to start early, bring a bucket.