I'm not sure what oilskin is, but it brought this to mind...
You Might Be a Goth Hick if...
Your casket is on cinder blocks in your driveway.
You wear black overalls and a black straw hat.
Your idea of a good time is to be up all night drinking beer and writing (poetry that could be set to) country music.
You drive a black pick-up truck.
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road" and "look for the hearse".
You consider chewing tobacco an acceptable alternative to drinking blood/blood-colored beverages.
You married your sibling for the poetic drama.
You own black flannel shirts.
You've ever referred to duct tape as "the chrome which represents the small bit of light that strikes my soul".
You think you have a black car, but can't tell because of the dirt.
You tore your black velvet skirt hunting raccoons.
You name your child after your dog, and they're both called "Enigma".
You think the French Riviera is a foreign car, but still write poetry about how it reflects the anguish in your soul.
You find yourself watching pro wrestling and pondering how detrimental it must be to the participant's souls.
You avoid Olympic fencing because you think it involves wooden stakes (along with barb wire and a goat).
You own a homemade fur coat, dyed black.
You own a pair of black pants with a chewing tobacco 'O' ring on the back pocket.
You have both the word "howdy" and the phrase "long, dark torment of the soul" on your answering machine.
You think that Dolly Parton should be the lead singer for Switchblade Symphony.
Your favorite movies are "The Crow" and "Smokey and the Bandit".
The only reason you don't drink lite beer is because it's been months since you've seen light.
You've ever used your katana to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds and doubles as bondage gear.
None of your black t-shirts cover your stomach.
You realize you're the only one dressed all in black at a Nascar event.
You ever heckled a eulogy, and you were just at the funeral for the fun of it.
You've ever entered a "Howdy Doody Look-alike" contest, and lost because you were too pale.
You've ever given a date flowers that were stolen on your last nightly trip to the cemetery.
...and it's not on this list, but I've seen one that says "You sit on your front porch and shoot at the sun"
