Gother than thou.

iblis · Post by **iblis** » Sat Jun 28, 2003 4:56 pm

It's come to my attention that Spam is Gother than any of you. Really, think about it.

1) He completely denies being "Goth". In fact he may even become violent if you refer to him as being "gothic", "Goth", or even "dark and spooky". ‡

2) He listens to obscure and depraved music. Oh come on, the underbelly of the record store isn't The Cure, it's pure fucking Hip-Hop. w0rd.

3) He can shift between his natural "Master-Goth-Race" form and his civilian disguise in the blink of an eye†.

4) He really doesn't care what you think. Pretention at it's best.

5) His cell phone rings to the tune of Knight Rider. How can you get any Gother than that?

I think that we should make him the KnoxGothic.com mascot, right down to t-shirts and a little plush Spam doll. Such gothic intrigue should be paid due homage, I say.

Hail to the king.

† - I do indeed have proof of this Master-Goth-Race form. Here is a shot of him beginning his transformation, notice the lengthening fangs? That's not Teeth by Gnash, yo. Don't miss the ears, either. Way to go, wolfman. And here is a pic taken immediately afterwards, when his complexion shifted from Token Hip-Hop kid to Gother than thou. Right down to the bad makeup job. Extraordinary. I almost sprained my wrists taking these pictures, let me tell you. He's quick! (Larger shots are available here and here, respectively.)

‡ - Although to some he certainly does look like a teddy bear, you should probably avoid making sudden moves around him while the DJ's are playing their sets. He appears to have a mild allergy to The Smiths, and has been known to get angry after inhaling too much clove smoke and patchouli. Do not make direct eye contact with him, as he may see this as a challenge to his personal territory. It's safe to feed him, but only after chanting "Yummy down on this" wildly for a minute or so. You've been warned.

Cheerleader of the Damned · Sat Jun 28, 2003 9:23 pm

It'll never work...Spam and LaMount are friends. LaMount is, was and will always be the Anti-Goth™.

littlepockit · Post by **littlepockit** » Sat Jun 28, 2003 10:29 pm

but, lamount has the death star...

life would not be the same without spam and lamount.

Nemesis · Post by **Nemesis** » Sun Jun 29, 2003 3:43 am

It's all true!!!

JaNell · Post by **JaNell** » Sun Jun 29, 2003 10:05 am

I <3 Plushy Spam Doll‘“!

Hardcoregirl · Post by **Hardcoregirl** » Sun Jun 29, 2003 10:07 am

Methinks there might be evidence in my jr high and high school yearbooks of the Spamgoth transformation..