• Random Junkie Christ Thread

Posted: **Wed Dec 03, 2003 11:28 pm**

Codeine Coma wrote:
JaNell
Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 11:57 pm Post subject:
Codeine Coma wrote:
LMAO!!!!

Now I have a very strange image in my head of a woman checking her dildo's for mics and hidden cameras.

Which are, hopefully, both waterproof.

**Spurts milk out his nose**

Hahaha Are you trying to kill me??

Why, um, no, Mo would never hire me to do that.
Never.
Never never never.
:twisted:

Posted: **Wed Dec 03, 2003 11:38 pm**

"Damn Carl, we only get about 5 minutes of good footage all day, the rest of the time we just see panties or just darkness..."

"Yeah Ralf maybe we should instal lights or something so we can atleast smell them..."

Posted: **Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:48 am**

You never did answer my question about the platypus.

Eeep! Maybe junkie doesn't have an answer to this particular question!

*dives for cover as armageddon approaches*

Posted: **Thu Dec 04, 2003 1:12 pm**

iblis wrote:
JaNell wrote:
junkie christ wrote:however now when i see rocky horror, the time warp makes me think:
time warp would require quantum energy right????
so i think lets do the time warp again is becoming a comeon line for anal as well.

So, JC, if Time Warp makes you think of anal, but is also associated with Sir Diddimus - are you confessing that hearing the Time Warp makes you want to have anal sex wirh Sir Diddimus?
Do you secretly long for him to be putting it to you while yelling out "Fuck That Bird!"?
Should we put that into the coloring book?

The Junkie Christ Coloring Book .... I'd buy it!

Question for the junkie:

How much dope do you think <insert your favorite deity here> smoked before (s)he invented the platypus?

other way around. the platypus created your perception of a deity. according to south park.. deities look like them anyway..

Posted: **Thu Dec 04, 2003 4:25 pm**

Ok...Uh...How many peircings is too many peircings?
Would getting my nipple peirced be considered "gay"?
What about my belly-button?

Posted: **Thu Dec 04, 2003 5:59 pm**

Dead_End wrote:Ok...Uh...How many peircings is too many peircings?
Would getting my nipple peirced be considered "gay"?
What about my belly-button?

its too many when you do a jumping jack and jingle or when you strech and they are fighting for control of your skin.
no, nipple piercings are common now. 10 years ago, people woulda assumed you were.... not anymore.
belly button, unless your a 16 year old girl (and even then) thats the DUMBEST thing on earth.

Posted: **Mon Dec 08, 2003 1:33 pm**

junkie christ wrote:
Dead_End wrote:Ok...Uh...How many peircings is too many peircings?
Would getting my nipple peirced be considered "gay"?
What about my belly-button?

its too many when you do a jumping jack and jingle or when you strech and they are fighting for control of your skin.
no, nipple piercings are common now. 10 years ago, people woulda assumed you were.... not anymore.
belly button, unless your a 16 year old girl (and even then) thats the DUMBEST thing on earth.

Just cause Baxter can't walk thru a metal detector doesn't give you the right to make fun of him!!! :P~

J/K

Posted: **Mon Dec 08, 2003 2:04 pm**

FEED ME QUESTIONS!

Posted: **Mon Dec 08, 2003 4:12 pm**

What is the sound of one hand typing?
If a tree falls on a fire brething duck, how many trees burn?
Why do hot dogs come in 8's and the buns in 12's?
What is the worst movie ever made?
Why are lunatics crazy all of the time?
Why do I find alcholic clowns so entertaining?
What is the sqaure root of a bannana?
Why do I have the urge to make love to a wall socket with a fork?

Posted: **Mon Dec 08, 2003 6:30 pm**

Questions for JC...

Why can I not go into Broadway Sound with $2000 and come out with exactly what I went in for?

Why is it most music programs..low buget ones that is...do not reconize ASIO hardware?

How come I almost passed out today while the doctors drew blood? This has never happened before.

If two people are buried in Mass.,and one was a Jewish Asian. Yet both really never believed in God. And on Sunday they will give a surmon about how god failed.

1. How did they die?
2.Isn't that illegal? An Asian Jewish person?
3.What would you guess the other person's religon is?
4.Will they ever sing "Mother of Mercy"?

If you had to kill one person that you loved,who would it be?

Posted: **Mon Dec 08, 2003 7:02 pm**

Mercurygriffin wrote:What is the sound of one hand typing?
If a tree falls on a fire brething duck, how many trees burn?
Why do hot dogs come in 8's and the buns in 12's?
What is the worst movie ever made?
Why are lunatics crazy all of the time?
Why do I find alcholic clowns so entertaining?
What is the sqaure root of a bannana?
Why do I have the urge to make love to a wall socket with a fork?

1) the sound of another hand masturbating
2)depends on the size of the death throe of the duck and its radius of breath
3)answered below.
4)plan 9 from outer space. which is why its one of my favorite movies. other than that, gigli or showgirls.
5)why are alkies drunk all the time? the answer is in the pretense of the adjectives. people ask self answering questions alot in life, this is one of those times.
6)because your always hoping they drive the little clown car into the crowd. the best drunk driving commerical ever.
7)the part thats always rotten towards the bottom

because you get off on electricity

weiners vs buns, from page one wrote: this will sound like a stupid pervert line until you get to why i think it......
well hot dogs or WEINERS as ive always referred to them are a phallic food in EVERY sense of the word and are only fit for human consumption when that you are taking a said WEINER inserting it between BUNS and inserting it into your mouth... (we wont go into chili or relish......)....
this isnt supposed to be a preverted joke, its an example of a theory digging at the chance to show you how sexual repressed the culture is.. i think these names were intentional and the set up was intentional....
and the uneven distribution of weiners to buns shows that you must continue to hunt more of the opposite trying to balance but its too costly and nonsenseical to just buy a stockpile of weiners and buns and make it even..... ( so you will never attain the balance in your relationships or sexlife you desire, so try to attain as many as possible.....)
its an endless example of the frustrated sex drive of the average american, with its implications to oral and anal sex. these are the types of marketing that a large number of people pick up on and deny existing, yet when they buy, and they do, they always think it on some level... ( i wont even touch the fact how often they are served at FAMILY events.......:shudder:)
OR............
to make you buy more of the other. look at how many packs you gotta buy to even it for that matter,,, there alot of OCD's out there (my grandma is one ...) that will buy them till the numbers even...
consumerism is the most well trained whore babylon ever dreamed up.......
i can turn any consumer product into proof i read way to much of Freud and Freudian materials and believe it is the backbone of all marketing just a little too much....

Posted: **Mon Dec 08, 2003 7:10 pm**

Codeine Coma wrote:Questions for JC...

Why can I not go into Broadway Sound with $2000 and come out with exactly what I went in for?

no real musician would either. gear shopping is too addictive. clowd judgement
[/quote]

Why is it most music programs..low buget ones that is...do not reconize ASIO hardware?

compatibilty id guess..... driver issues maybe?

How come I almost passed out today while the doctors drew blood? This has never happened before.

fluke thing. if it happens again, WORRY.

If two people are buried in Mass.,and one was a Jewish Asian. Yet both really never believed in God. And on Sunday they will give a surmon about how god failed.
1. How did they die?

their hearts stopped. what caused that i dont know, but id guess involved auto-erotic-asyphxiation (spelling)

2.Isn't that illegal? An Asian Jewish person?

nope. just REALLY strange. probably gets called islamic alot. maybe a whole new branch of terrorism..... the two stereotpyes for small penises together.....

3.What would you guess the other person's religon is?

he worshipped Pan.

4.Will they ever sing "Mother of Mercy"?

no. i will be. thats my absolute favorite song to sing drinking.

If you had to kill one person that you loved,who would it be?

my best friend. shes not on the board so her name isnt worth mentioning. id kill her because i know shed kill me in the process. just seems fitting.

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:11 am**

So, I'm on xanga, now... Iz this the 7th sign?

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:35 am**

junkie christ wrote:
Codeine Coma wrote: How come I almost passed out today while the doctors drew blood? This has never happened before.

fluke thing. if it happens again, WORRY.
[quote]

That happens to me all the time...I just can't stand the feeling of my own blood being drawn outta me. I either throw up or pass out...it's just me being hypersensitive I think...

Or am I dying??? *gulp*

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2003 12:57 pm**

The Stormstress wrote:So, I'm on xanga, now... Iz this the 7th sign?

Naa.. its just a chevron before a 90 degree curve leading down the beaten mountain path that the sign resides on....

Posted: **Fri Dec 12, 2003 1:12 pm**

someone answer me this and feed me a question:
why doesnt my computer have a breathalizer so i cant get on it when drunk

Posted: **Fri Dec 12, 2003 2:28 pm**

junkie christ wrote:someone answer me this and feed me a question:
why doesnt my computer have a breathalizer so i cant get on it when drunk

Answer: Because the Random Junkie Christ Thread wouldn't be this damned addictive if it did have one!

Question: Why am I so addicted to using, fiddling around with, or hell, even looking at computers? I mean, hell, it's worse than smack. Are there any equivalents to methadone clinics, for geeks?

Posted: **Fri Dec 12, 2003 2:48 pm**

iblis wrote:Question: Why am I so addicted to using, fiddling around with, or hell, even looking at computers? I mean, hell, it's worse than smack. Are there any equivalents to methadone clinics, for geeks?

Because you're addicted to free porn and/or gross porn...???

Posted: **Fri Dec 12, 2003 4:53 pm**

iblis wrote:
junkie christ wrote:someone answer me this and feed me a question:
why doesnt my computer have a breathalizer so i cant get on it when drunk

Answer: Because the Random Junkie Christ Thread wouldn't be this damned addictive if it did have one!

Question: Why am I so addicted to using, fiddling around with, or hell, even looking at computers? I mean, hell, it's worse than smack. Are there any equivalents to methadone clinics, for geeks?

yes they are too damn addictive
way too damn addictive
i think its part commiunication/information thats addictive on the user end. the programmer end... same reason its addictive to us all in that realm : GOD COMPLEX
there is actually an IA... same thing as AA but for the net. no shit, they do exist. and theres also rehab groups for MMORPGs. why theres not shrinks who are specialized for programmers... no idea.

oh yea, and porn.

Posted: **Sun Dec 14, 2003 3:05 am**

Questions to the Junkie Messiah

1.Why do small animals insist on running in front of my car?
2.Why didn't I get a prize for being 500th user?
3.Vodka or whiskey?
4.Smoking or non smoking?