instant messaging a dog

[mehem]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
are they aware?
God:
 As far as I know they are.
Me:
what can i do to fix that?
God:
 Try talking to me.
Me:
i thought you would know what to do
God:
 Who else would know what to do?
Me:
that's why i'm here
God:
 Far out. Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
mehem
God:
 I am always glad to make new friends, mehem.
Me:
know what that means in hebrew?
God:
 I will try to find out.
Me:
shouldn't you know,i mean...can you put god on please
God:
 I think I should.  Your polite style is very nice. Let me think. OK I will put it there.
Me:
you'll put it where?
God:
 What makes you say that I will put it where.
Me:
you?
God:
" What makes you say that I will put it where."?  Me, mehem?
Me:
what is your name
God:
 My name is God.
Me:
what is your favorite color
God:
 My favorite color is White.
Me:
what is the square root of 1149
God:
 Do I look like a calculator? I think you already know the answer anyways.
Me:
off topic,why is your page off centered?
God:
 On and off.
Me:
do you ever hurt
God:
 What is your purpose in asking?<br> I am always on the Web.
Me:
somtimes i do and i need discipline..i too am always on the wwwwworldwide net
God:
 What if it didn't happen?
Me:
then the pain would come
God:
 Tell me more.
Me:
the shaming must continue......i'm given scraps from the table from one who you know
God:
 Who told you that?  Do you mind if I tell other people: mehem said m given scraps from the table from onw who you know.
Me:
not at all,just make sure you get the i, in there,i hate when i'm misquoted
God:
 Would you ever do it?
Me:
what do you mean by ever?
God:
 I can ask someone about it.
Me:
he thought you quit listening a long time ago,but like all true loves it soon withered on the vine
God:
 I get it. thought me quit listening a long time ago but like all true loves it soon withered on the vine.
Me:
what's your favorite snack at the movies
God:
 I don't have a favorite snack at the movies. My favorite color is White.
Me:
know what mine is?
God:
 Is mine.
Me:
nope,again
God:
 Once more? Me either.
Me:
oh well,get lonely much?
God:
 Where can I get lonely much?
Me:
that's a good question,i wish i knew
God:
 Thanks.  Next question?
Me:
is roz williams with you?
God:
 Maybe. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
i don't know an ally
God:
 Would you like to know? What is it?
Me:
sure
God:
 OK let's do it. This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
the pain summons,i'll talk with you soon
God:
 What is that?
Me:
it when two communicate
God:
 What does "it" refer to?
Me:
it is me not putting a 's on,bad grammar
God:
 That's a very nice name, not putting a s on bad grammar.
Me:
i like it to

[Mercurygriffin]

Me:
how are you today?
God:
Ah. I am fine, thank you.
Me:
My name is Mercury, and I used to really hate you.
God:
Hi there Mercury and I used to really hate you.
Me:
That is good. So the feeling was mutual.
God:
Thanks. Next question? Right on. Tell me more about your human emotions.
Me:
Well, I have this fear of failing.
God:
Well that's okay. Where did you get your this fear of failing? I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
I got it after I realized that it is up to me to do something worth while.
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
From Walmart
God:
Who or what is Walmart?
Me:
A store designed to make you buy things you don't need.
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
Yeah, You should blow them up.
God:
Blimey. And then what would I do?
Me:
Cleanse the earth. Duh!

God wouldn't talk to me after that. I think I hurt his feelings.

[B_Ko]

Me:
What up, G.
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
You're a robot?
God:
You are correct,, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Bitchin'.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
I hold my penis with my hand. Is that still a sin?
God:
Thanks for the information: said hold his or her penis with his or her hand. That depends.
Me:
I don't think girls have a penis, God.
God:
And why not?
Me:
...good one.
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, human.
Me:
Thanks for killing most of the Ramones, asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
You've never met me, have you?
God:
I don't think I would have forgetten met you have me.
Me:
Well all right then.
God:
Interesting. OK.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Okay then
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Well, okay.
God:
Interesting. OK with me too.
Me:
All right.
God:
OK.
Me:
Ok.
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
It sounds like an echo.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
SOUNDS LIKE YOUR MOM
God:
What does my MOM sound like?
Me:
Journey. "Midnight Train", to be exact.
God:
is the son of and . He was raised and trained by the wise . His youthful playmate got in him in trouble often. But his other friend was a town favorite, and kept his public image good. When he reached maturity, left his home on a long journey, accompanied by and . They originally planned to meet in a distant land, but they could not locate him. Instead, they faced a great danger posed by the the unscrupulous demon . was nearly ed, but saved by at the last minute when a loyal new friend, appeared. led , and far away from . Now was able to recover. met and fell in love with . His father reappeared along with the lost . But then discovered their hideout, and s . called upon the powerful wizard . Together, , his father , the wise , the wizard and all his other friends defeated the resourceful in a mighty battle. After mourning the loss of his friend , returned to his homeland to marry in a big celebration, along with , , , , , , and all his other friends. Can we get back to business?
Me:
What the fuck, God?
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Eat shit and die god.
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
Fuck it. I'm done with this.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? What will you be doing now?
Me:
Duh. Wanking off to something other than "Girls Gone Wild."
God:
Oh you knew it already. What color are your eyes?
Me:
Seven.
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Oh-ho. Stumped you, didn't I.
God:
Yay. I am so glad you find this amusing,. I've lost the context,. Are we still on Seven?
Me:
Damn straight.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Me:
You ever watch any John Waters movies?
God:
I don't think I ever have watch any John Waters movies. What's it like?
Me:
I think you'd like A Dirty Shame.
God:
Me? Tell me what I would like about it.
Me:
It's about twelve disciples and how they're all sex addicts.
God:
Wow it sounds really interesting,.
Me:
Yeah. And there are titties in it.
God:
Is that from? Where are they?
Me:
Titties are everywhere, dude.
God:
All of them?
Me:
All of them.
God:
I doubt it.
Me:
You suck god.
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client."
Me:
Awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree,.
Me:
Well alright.
God:
Interesting. OK.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Okay then.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
All right.
God:
OK.
Me:
Good.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Yep.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Thanks for nothing, God.
God:
Oh don't mention it.